


Comprehension Difficulties

by writerwithacat



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerwithacat/pseuds/writerwithacat
Summary: Logan is struggling with self-worth. Virgil comforts him.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	Comprehension Difficulties

**Author's Note:**

> warning for ableist language, self-hatred, and some swearing.

Logan ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. He felt a hot sensation in the corners of his eyes, and blinked a couple times, trying to prevent himself from crying. He clutched his hair and took an unsteady breath.

 _I’m so **stupid.**_ Logan thought bitterly. _It’s my job to handle things like this, for goodness sake, and—_

He shut his eyes tightly, focusing on the feeling of his hands in his hair instead of the crushing disappointment he felt in himself.

 _It’s simple. It’s so simple. Anyone could do this._ Logan thought, opening his eyes and staring at the words in front of him. A short, shuddering, breath exited his mouth as he tried to hold in a sob.

But perhaps that was the problem. It was too simple. Logan just didn’t understand.

 _This_ _has so many possible meanings! What am I supposed to do? It isn’t— it doesn’t make sense!_ Logan’s vision was blurred by tears. _Why can’t I just_ know? _Why can’t I just look at it and understand like anyone else? I’m **Logic!** What am I if I can’t fulfill my purpose?_

"Hey, Logan, are you okay in there?” Logan heard Virgil’s voice through the door.

Logan turned towards the door, robotically wiping away his tears. “Of course. Is something required of me?” he asked, pushing himself out of his seat and walking towards the door.

"I just wondered how you were doing, is all,” Virgil said, sounding a bit concerned. “How’s the work going?”

Logan opened the door, belatedly realizing his voice had been shaking. “It’s going… adequately,” he said.

“Logan,” Virgil said slowly. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you kind of look like shit.”

Logan blinked a couple times, processing Virgil’s words. But before he could say anything, Virgil began speaking again.

“I don’t mean you look ugly or anything! I’m just… I’m worried about you. Your hair’s a mess and I can see tear streaks on your cheeks and you just don’t seem alright. But if you don’t want me here—”

Logan jerkily shook his head. “Stay.” He took a deep breath. “You worrying about me is… reasonable. I am just unsure of what to say.” He played with his tie.

“Well, start with why you look like a mess.”

Logan snorted quietly. “I confess I am a bit stressed. Therefore, my appearance.” He gestured to himself.

“I can tell you’re stressed, I just don’t know why,” Virgil said, stepping inside Logan’s room.

Logan stepped back to make room, feeling strangely detached. He motioned for them to sit, and lowered himself into his chair.

Virgil sat cross-legged on the floor by the desk. He glanced at the papers on top of the desk. “Is your work frustrating you?” he asked hesitantly.

Logan attempted to tell him it wasn’t, but he felt his throat tense and tears burn in the corners of his eyes when he tried to speak.

"Lo?”

Logan made a strange, choked noise and turned his head away. He gripped his tie tightly, shame pervading through his very bones.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Virgil’s deep voice was soft and encouraging.

"It’s not,” Logan snapped. After a moment, he seemed to crumple in on himself. His messy hair flopped over his face as he looked down. “It’s not,” he echoed, the prior anger gone from his voice.

“You’re one of the smartest people I know. I’m sure if it isn’t okay now, you’ll find a way to make it okay.” Virgil held one of Logan’s hands comfortingly. “And hey, maybe it’s not as bad as you think. Cognitive distortions, right?”

Logan let out a bitter, short laugh. “I’m not as intelligent as you believe. If I was, this problem would not exist.”

“Having trouble doesn’t mean you’re not smart.”

"In this case, it does,” Logan said, rising from his seat and stepping away, carefully not making eye contact as if that would hide his tears.“Thank you for attempting to assist me, Virgil, but I am afraid this is not something you can aid me with.” His voice was closed off.

Virgil scrambled to his feet. His face showed a myriad of mixed emotions Logan couldn’t decipher. Virgil’s mouth opened slightly as if he had something to say, but no words came out.

They stood there looking at each other. Logan felt a strange, unwelcome chill in his arms and chest. His eyes wouldn’t focus. The air felt tense, like the quivering atoms of a solid.

"I’ll— I’ll leave, but first. I want you to know I wouldn’t think less of you even if you weren’t smart.” Virgil said, his tone of voice indecipherable. “It doesn’t matter.”

Logan turned his head towards Virgil in surprise. “Falsehood. I am Logic. Being intelligent and logical is my purpose. It is the reason I exist. If that is not what I am, then I don’t have any worth.” he said quietly but firmly, his voice wavering on the last word.

“That’s not true,” Virgil said, shaking his head as if he was trying to shake the thought from his brain. “You are so important to us.” He hunched in on himself in a way that Logan found reminiscent of a turtle.

Logan watched, his throat feeling uncomfortably dry. He felt another pang of self-hatred, not knowing what to do. “I’m sorry,” he offered uncertainly.

Virgil lifted his head and stood up straight, letting his arms drop. “Logan. You’re not an idiot. Okay?”

“I’m not as smart as you seem to think I am—”

“That’s not what I mean.” Virgil took a deep breath. “But this kind of thing isn’t black and white. I’m not a genius, but that doesn't mean I don’t know anything.”

Logan breathed in sharply. His vision was blurry. “You’re right, things aren’t black and white, but— it just doesn’t make sense,” he said helplessly, not quite sure what he was even talking about.

“Let’s sit down.” Virgil grabbed Logan’s hand gently and guided him to the floor, where they sat beside each other. Logan leaned against Virgil slightly. Neither of them said anything for a minute.

"Thank you.”

"No problem. I want to be here for you.” Virgil squeezed Logan’s hand. “Any day. I mean it. You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone.”

Logan smiled. He didn’t love himself right now, but maybe he could. Someday.

They stayed there on the floor until Patton found them and they were forced to move into the living room for some hot chocolate and a Steven Universe marathon.

_I'm not alone. We’re not alone. It will be okay._


End file.
